Crappy mood
Yeah I feel like crap warmed over right now. It could be because I'm at work on a Sunday. I have 3 computers to set up for new employees starting tomorrow, and I've got about 1 1/2 done.
Cursing my procrastination, I also wallow in the self-pity (that's the only way to enjoy self-pity, you need to wallow in it) that sneaks up on you when you have just broken up with your partner of 12 years. (We broke up Memorial Day weekend, more about that another time...).
There is a euphoria that I have come to distrust at the same time that I enjoy it. I felt a little of it yesterday. I had driven in to work to get the computers all set up for the new hires. When I got to the parking lot I realized that I had forgotten to bring my key-card. I wasn't going to be able to get into my office to work after all. Now, rather than drive 45 minutes back home and 45 minutes back to work, I decided to just laugh at myself a little, and started cleaning my car. I then called
theoctothorpe to see if we could meet in the town where he lives before going to NYC.
Then I got a little of that euphoria. I felt absurdly happy. The mood persisted until the evening. We met some LJers in NYC, made a late night of it (for me) and I got home at around 3:30 AM...
For me, that euphoria is invariably followed by a blue mood. That's what has hit me today. I know I'll feel better soon, but right now... urg, blechh, fack.
Cursing my procrastination, I also wallow in the self-pity (that's the only way to enjoy self-pity, you need to wallow in it) that sneaks up on you when you have just broken up with your partner of 12 years. (We broke up Memorial Day weekend, more about that another time...).
There is a euphoria that I have come to distrust at the same time that I enjoy it. I felt a little of it yesterday. I had driven in to work to get the computers all set up for the new hires. When I got to the parking lot I realized that I had forgotten to bring my key-card. I wasn't going to be able to get into my office to work after all. Now, rather than drive 45 minutes back home and 45 minutes back to work, I decided to just laugh at myself a little, and started cleaning my car. I then called
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Then I got a little of that euphoria. I felt absurdly happy. The mood persisted until the evening. We met some LJers in NYC, made a late night of it (for me) and I got home at around 3:30 AM...
For me, that euphoria is invariably followed by a blue mood. That's what has hit me today. I know I'll feel better soon, but right now... urg, blechh, fack.
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Ups and downs are pretty common after a breakup. As everyone told me, you are finding a new you and it takes time. Hugs furry bud...Wallace
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There is nothing quite like the emotional roller coaster that can occur when good times are followed by a none too subtle reminder that all is not well.
Care to come and eat guiche? Or something? Or even a hug?
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Big hugs, and sloppy kisses. Starbucks tomorrow?
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well wishes work wonders